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Tuesday, 10 August 2010 21:32 |
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Ever feel that way? Lousy, right? You feel so expendable, so disposable, so invisible. Your ideas are devalued, your contribution seemingly insignificant. Imagine living your life as so totally replaceable- that your footprints on this earth make no lasting mark, your voice isn’t heard by anybody, and you are merely a shadow. You come and go, unnoticed and unremarkable. People don’t see you, don’t remember you and don’t acknowledge you.
This describes so many people’s lives and so many managers’ blind spot. They don’t see who is right in front of them, don’t value what they have, and use people to help them achieve their own goals. When the person has completed the task, then they are done. Finished. Dumped. Dismissed. And the manager doesn’t even say thanks. Good job. You really made a difference.
Are you that kind of manager? Have you ever thought how little it takes to appreciate somebody? How much it means to be seen, recognized. Managers have the opportunity to inject humanity into their work every single day. To remember that you are looking in to the face of somebody who leaves your company and becomes a parent, spouse, friend, brother, sister- somebody important. Why is it that you, as the manager, find it important to diminish this and reduce them to a cog in a wheel? Your cog to do your bidding?
How you treat others says everything about your character and your sincerity. Treat somebody as less than a meaningful contributor and you diminish your own worth. And don’t be surprised when karma rears its head and delivers to you what you have heaped on others. Because the universe has its way of righting the wrongs.
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You Need to Be Present if You Hope to be Trusted |
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Sunday, 01 August 2010 19:29 |
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I often tell my son to make eye contact when people speak with him, to not multi-task and to be clearly present. Not only is it courteous and respectful to do this, it is also a way to show empathy and connection. My son is 14- he gets it.
So, let me tell you about an experience I had recently. I was asked to present a proposal to the senior executives of a large company to train their team to become trusted advisors. This would have been a very important piece of work for me- in many ways. The challenge was fantastic and the revenue large, the credibility I would have gained would certainly have helped my business. Of course, I was excited to do this.
Have you ever had the experience of meeting somebody and in 30 seconds getting a bad vibe? And then dismissing it because it seems irrational to make a judgement that quickly. So you reprimand yourself about jumping to conclusions and ignore what you thought- but there is something nagging at you. You don’t have a good feeling.
My moment happened when I received a less than warm response to my handshake and the senior leaders did not walk beside me and my client contact on the way to the boardroom? What was that all about- trailing behind by a significant distance. Was that a display of power? Of letting me know I shouldn’t get too friendly or comfortable? Isn’t the idea of these meetings to make your guest feel welcome- even if the guest is ‘only a vendor’?
Things went downhill when one of the executives did not take his eyes or fingers off his blackberry for the entire meeting. What was the message to me? He was a busy person (and of course I couldn’t be as busy as he was). He was obviously a VIP since he couldn’t be disconnected for half an hour ( more important than I was). And what I was saying was so completely disinteresting/unimportant/insignificant/trivial that it wasn’t worthy of his attention and focus. When he did chime in, it was usually with a pointed critique with a series of comments/questions intended to cause discomfort.
At the end of this miserable meeting, I was not only disinterested in working for this client, but I did not like this person. Did I trust him? Absolutely not. Did I think he had the capability to be a trusted advisor? Not at this stage. He had a lot to learn about treating people with courtesy and respect.
And as for the revenue? Not everything in life is about money. As a colleague told me when I related this to him, I’d rather be poor than miserable. And what this client needs to learn is that the community is very small and trust is hard to come by. Reputations are built and lost on these types of encounters.
Being present is all about being in the moment. Trust isn’t built after the fact. It happens with each and every encounter, every conversation, every email. We enter relationships with trust as a default- it is yours to lose. Behave as this executive did and you not only lose the little trust you had (the trust we give everybody as a sort of headstart), but you have to live with a damaged reputation.
So much easier to be aware, attentive and courteous. Like my 14 year old son.
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Trust: It's Also About Helping Those in Distress |
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Tuesday, 27 April 2010 18:08 |
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I can’t stop thinking about the homeless man stabbed in New York and 9 people walking by, not stopping. Or about the 70 yr old man who was mugged on a Toronto subway car and nobody helped, not even to pull the alarm. I understand why those on the subway wouldn’t want to get directly involved- fear of injury or death. But why couldn’t anybody pull the alarm? And what’s the excuse for ignoring a defenseless homeless man? Are we so self-absorbed, so disconnected from one another?
Trust is about knowing that you can count on somebody. Societally, trust is about knowing you can count on others. It feels like a scarier place today when I don’t trust those around me to help me. Trust is about empathy and understanding the world as it is experienced by another person. That includes those in need.
How can any of us expect to build trusting relationships or a trusting society if we can’t count on others to be there in our times of greatest need. Trust is about being sure that somebody is looking after your needs- that they will act in your best interest. Society failed these two men. And one more blow to rebuilding lost trust in our society.
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INTEGRITY: It's What You Do When No One's Looking |
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Saturday, 27 February 2010 23:26 |
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I was thinking the other day about how I measure integrity. What does that mean to me? And is it different in my business life than my personal life. I know that most people will say they are the same. They believe that who you are carries into your business life- that there isn’t a clear demarcation between one or the other.
If that’s true, why is it that people can display such different sides to themselves? How can a person I’ve known professionally for years, treated me well and with respect, treat me differently when I one day work with them? I know all about power, risk, tough decisions, and ego which rears its head in a business setting. But I believe that our core values can contend with these situations without surrendering who we really are deep inside. So what do I make of those people who are not like this? It causes me to wonder who is thereal person and what their real measure of integrity is.
What about the person who promptly returns your calls and emails when you are ‘of interest’ to them? They need you or you are of significance to them for some reason. You hold the relationship to some business they want; they want a service from you; they hope that you can help them with a challenge which they are facing. They make time to see you. Your emails are replied to quickly. They try to accommodate your schedule for meetings. Then, their need dissipates.
You have a reason to connect with them awhile later; maybe you just want to stay in touch. You email- no reply. You leave a message- no returned phone call. Suddenly, you feel as if you don’t exist. Your worth to them is zero and they are making that evident to you.
Integrity is about honour and consistency. It’s about what you do when no one is looking. It’s about treating all people with respect and civility; about having manners. Integrity is not noticing one’s status or what somebody can do for you. It’s about treating others as you would want to be treated. Old-fashioned, basic stuff. It’s not that hard.
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Years of Trust and Goodwill- Gone in a Day |
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Sunday, 07 February 2010 21:12 |
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It can happen to any organization. Millions spent on advertising and marketing. A carefully crafted message about your products and your service. A huge misstep- and it’s gone. All that goodwill- so fragile and easily broken. Toyota has certainly learned this the hard way.
Those of us in the business of working with organizational leaders in building and sustaining trust have been heeding the clarion call that trust takes years to build and can be gone in a minute. We have beat the drum over and over that it doesn’t matter how many culture audits you conduct, how much team training you do and how many feel good messages you put out to the market- if your product fails and your systems are not designed to deal with failure, you have wasted your money.
Too many times I have heard clients tell me that trust is the number one value to their business, but they don’t need to focus on trust because after all, it’s JUST one factor. As we can all see, it’s the ONLY factor that matters. Because when your systems fail, when your CEO doesn’t deliver the right message and your customer service isn’t 100%, loss of trust is the consequence. And rebuilding trust is a lot harder and more expensive than making sure that you don’t lose it in the first place.
Toyota will eventually recover but not after losing untold millions of dollars in sales, profits and share value. Customers will switch to their competitors, never to return. Reputation, the bedrock of all businesses, is shattered.
Yet, you don’t have to focus on trust in your organization, because after all, it’s ONLY one factor.
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